You Are So Beautiful How Come You’re Single?

That’s the question that never gives and with an explanation that could take a whole lifetime. Okay I am exaggerating a little. Nonetheless, why people assume being beautiful guarantees you smooth sailing I wonder. 

Take Abigail as an example. She is beautiful, she is smart and she sure knows what she wants in a man. The problem is that dating in Nairobi is an extreme sport. You have to sieve through 4 million-plus people to find if the Almighty really gave you a rib from one of them. 

From streets to apps. Blind dates to impromptu meetups. What you know for sure is that Movies lied. 

Nonetheless, someone comes along and they profess how they like you. You are puzzled. Not because you don’t deserve an immediate reaction you actually are lucky to evoke love at first like and comment, but because you want this person to take the time to study you.

Like a piece of art, you want them to look at you from different angles, points of view, uncover what makes you mad, what makes you tick, what makes you withdraw from the world and what are the telltale signs when words become superfluous.

You want to be able to communicate with him through your eyes, see him for the miracle that he is because you know he thinks of you as the blessing that you are.
But no,

Mr quick just says he likes you right off the bat and he is ready to step into the next level like that caricature on primary maths book did. 

So you take the time to think about his confession while you’re listening to him go on about how life has been good to him. You then decide to compromise not because you think he’s the one but because you can’t outrightly reject someone you knew from years ago. 

You start telling yourself that he could’ve been looking at you all this while and he just couldn’t get the guts to confess because of how intimidated you made him feel. God knows how me and you love that narrative. Especially, when you take the time to think about it, automatically, you feel like a divine being. 

But wait, you can only feel so divine if at the end of the day you will reciprocate his feelings. Because then it turns out to be a love story predestined. One that defies time and all the odds. However, this isn’t the case. And you know exactly why you’re leading him on. You also know why he can’t cross the finish line. Posts to check out: The proposal

In the same league is the guy who professed love to you then failed to follow up. Didn’t make a point to continue the pursuit and neither did he call afterwards. He just went like now you see me, now you don’t. 

What do you make of his confession? Is it that he got some divine intervention and saw the friendzone coming so he withdrew before even starting? 

So is he now dating another one who met him halfway and they felt undeniable sparks? 

What if you saw a picture of them planning their wedding? Do you, in turn, become the loser at a game you didn’t even play? 

How life is shades of grey.

After thinking about all that you decide to take your dates seriously. Perhaps your story wasn’t written as you thought it is and it is time you gave leeway to more scenarios and outcomes.

Time flows and despite your plan to sit down and be humble with the proposal guy, nothing pans out.


The guy who doesn’t know how to ask for sex comes in the picture. 

Oh, isn’t he just a character. In speech and act, he could take you to the next level but just like faults in our stars, his downfall is his greed. He is the type to turn your plans around, make you angry and then make up for it with food. In Africa, food is a sign of goodwill so you shouldn’t refuse whether it’s served at home or in a restaurant. 

Since this particular serving happens to be in a restaurant you appease your anger with the food and the conversation that ensues. Much of it is in line with upgrading you so you calm down and quit overthinking. 

You can’t ignore the fact that when it’s your turn to speak the guy looks at his phone constantly and so you have to keep on repeating yourself. 

Nonetheless, you do so. Not because you’re a trained announcer but because this guy appeared in the name of getting you a hustle. Hence you want to appear still seated and humble. The constant conversation mishaps get more irritating but what else can you do? It’s not like you came expecting anything, if not work and a ride home.

After the meal, the guy offers to pay for your uber home and since you’ve seen this before you already know what’s next. Draw me a map.

“He can drop me first and then you later.” He says confidently. 

You tell yourself you could use the information so you follow suit in his uber until you reach his home. 

He invites you in claiming he wants to give you something. 

Based on your judgement he is no predator and so you follow him to go get that something. He starts by serving you wine and after a few hours of him trying to create a safe atmosphere he changes to a smooth talker. Earlier you had felt as if you were involuntarily jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I wonder why. On that note, He asks you to come sit beside him and share in the merry that comes from the funny videos in his laptop. 

Oh boy, here comes the burn. 

Because no sooner have you joined in the merry does he turn to plant a kiss on your lips. You jerk involuntarily because, for one, this wasn’t a set up you were looking forward to.

Two, even if you had, he just ruined it by not coming straight with his intentions. The whole circumnavigation just replaced the natural turn of events into a dirty hunt that proves what you were warned about. 

A sister so kind, had taken the time to warn that you stay away from him for he this and that. But who’s the enemy of a woman?… so you never heeded and now youre here. And like its a prophesy coming to pass, the guy follows the script to a tee leaving you in utter shock. 

So you beg to leave and he keeps his word and pays for your ride. 

Then you wonder, were you too harsh when you refused his kiss. But you remember just as he was showing you out you caught a glimpse of him looking at your ass. 

Well, that says it all and you plan to never be in a compromising situation with him again. But in your bag, you have something that he gave you and its something you have to return. Thinking of it reminds you of how he showed you his bedroom as if you were his fiance and he was just lovingly fetching your opinion about your future love nest. That doesn’t happen in real life, does it? You keep wondering.

While you ponder upon that you remember him telling that his home is a safe space and that you can hop in anytime. 

Perhaps he tells the truth but unfortunately it might not apply to you. You blame yourself for falling for that free ride talk and you swear someone will have to catch you dead before you agree to I’ll drop you, don’t worry. In that moment you remember your friend saying she doesn’t dip her pen in the company’s ink. 

You finally get the meaning and you realise it is going to take a while before you stop answering “You’re so beautiful, why are you single?”